How a man chooses a carnival costume

I have read many a story of women choosing their costumes using simply their feelings.  Some say the costumes chooses them, they simply know its “the one”.

Is great that girls can find costumes so easily using only the “force” or following their feelings, but for men it’s often a more logical and complex process if you want to get the best out of your carnival experience.


That will poke your eye right out!

It starts with a complete evaluation of the female sections of the chosen band.  Yes, you will be roaming the band but why not start the day surrounded by the best looking and most “functional” ladies.

The section with the hottest models is often chosen first by the inexperienced masquerader.
I think you have to look beyond the model and at the female costume itself.  Does it have sharp pointy bits designed to poke out your eyes?  Does it have a porcupine shaped accoutrement  glued onto the bum bum.  Will it look good on the average lady?

Keep an ear to the ground for the “It” section.  Its usually the skimpiest and its a safe bet thats where a lot of the eye candy will be.


All female costume sections that are wining impediments are struck off the list and we will work with the remainder. It is at this point that you start to look at male counerparts for the remaining costumes.

First, immediately strike off any section with a loincloth or serong or whatever they are called…bad man nuh wear skirt! Nuff said!

Dragonball Z!

For the inexperienced,  it’s choosing a suitably colored shorts and working with it.  I think there is more to it than that.  Look for and avoid large straps or bands that rest over your shoulders or on your upper body.  It’s unacceptable to train to your peak physical shape only to hide it under a decorative costume component.  Also these parts often scrape off the sunblock from your neck and trapezius’ leaving you prone to sunburn, the bane of every masquerader.  Try for sections with a small necklace if anything at all.   Do NOT get a costume with a giant dragon head where your crotch should be. You will not enjoy carnival if you do.

Using these simple guidelines will should come a small step closer to having the best experience  you possibly can.

Thanks to Uptown and Tribe for the photos!

How do you make your choice?

One thought on “How a man chooses a carnival costume

  • July 28, 2012 at 2:34 am

    Great advice!

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